Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Are You Successful...and Secretly Unhappy?

Women today are experiencing some of the best opportunities and the greatest successes we've ever had. Never before has there been so much support for us to step out and be the best at whatever we want to be.

We have incredible support systems and networks with friends, associates and families. Even companies are opening doors and allowing women to move ahead like never before. So…why are we still basically unhappy?

There’s that feeling of...something's missing…this is not enough, a kind of disconnect within us. We may ask ourselves; where’s the satisfaction and deep fulfillment we thought would come from our accomplishments and successes?

If this sounds like you, you're probably also feeling isolated because you're holding your real feelings in. It’s like your own little secret that you can’t share.

After all, you have everything you've dreamed of. Maybe you have great relationships, money, your dream job or business.

You may feel like you're the only one. Maybe you’re feeling a little 'guilty' because from all appearances you should be over the moon with your life…but you aren’t.

You can’t tell anyone because you think they’ll consider you ungrateful, insecure...maybe even a little dysfunctional because no matter what you have, it's never enough?

Well, take heart. You're not alone. Many women feel this way. They share your little 'secret'!  

The real issue isn't with what you have, or have done. Things and accomplishments, don’t make you happy, unless you already are. Happiness comes from within. The problem is more complicated than that.

Many of us have had heartbreaks, personal losses, hurts and disappointments that have never healed. Perhaps we lost a great love, a child, a dream was crushed, or we suffered some kind of physical, verbal or emotional abuse in our past.

As professional women, we tend to 'move past' these kinds of experiences and sweep them under the rug. We bury ourselves in our work, and tell ourselves we don’t have time to heal our emotions. We just ‘deal with it’! But, we don’t really deal with it at all.

In time, we may feel better but that’s because we’ve consciously buried our feelings. We think we’ve healed, but what we’ve really done is ‘swept our stuff under our emotional rug’…and the stuff is still there.

For the most part, we function fine and life goes on. But, the truth is, these unhealed emotions are like ticking time bombs…subject to blow up at any time. And, when they do, they can blow your life apart….I know…it happened to me.

So, what are some indicators that you may have this ticking time bomb inside of you? The biggest one is you’re unhappy! Maybe you feel depressed, have headaches, anxiety, sleeplessness, feel mis-understood, invisible or unappreciated.

Do you drink a little too much, or too often? Do you overeat? Do you bury yourself in work and never take time for fun? Maybe you suppress your feelings and you’ve shut your heart down...maybe you’re taking medications that really don’t seem to work.

The real issue is the heart-broken little girl inside of you, she’s still hurting. To help her heal, you must lift the rug, connect with her and heal her broken little heart. She’s been neglected and basically told to go to her room. Your intention was to deal with her needs later…but you never did.

Well ladies…it’s time to open the door, call her out and give her the love, healing and attention she needs and deserves. She’s not going away and she can’t heal herself, but you can and you must.

No amount of success, accumulations of possessions, or even the most loving partner can help you heal the hole in that little girl’s heart. That’s something only you can do.

The great news is, the solution is simple; you can do it, and it doesn’t take that long when you have the right tools. Don’t get me wrong…I didn’t say easy…I said simple.

So, the question is…do you want to be happy? Do you want to actually enjoy the success and accomplishments you’ve worked so hard to achieve…yes?

Then, the next question is…what are you going to do about it? The tools are available, I have them…all you have to do is use them.

Is this you? Do you know anyone who’s like this…successful and unhappy…maybe feeling like there’s nothing they can do about it? Please share this article with them. I’d really love to help.

Lyn Williams

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