‘Feel the Fear, Then Do It
Anyway!’ Ever heard that expression? I’m sure you have. It’s what our parents,
bosses and mentors tell us to do when we’re trying to do something new, like
striving to achieve a dream or goal. They say, just grit your teeth and go for
it.
And, it’s a good strategy
unless you’re talking about the real fear that comes from the threat of danger.
That’s part of our survival instinct. It helps us stay
alive.
But, we’re not talking
about fight or flight fear responses now. We’re talking about the fear that
comes from our psyche when we’re faced with doing something we’ve never done
before, or something that makes us uncomfortable like stage fright, jumping into
water, asking your boss for a raise or cold-calling clients. And to make the
separation clear I’m going to call this the ‘Crazy Fear’…because in many ways it
is crazy. It’s an irrational reaction to a lot of made up ‘stuff’ that can’t
hurt us and for the most part, isn’t even real.
Now, there are times when
just powering through a situation works just fine. But, there are other times,
when just powering through it isn’t enough. When it’s a behavior, or task that
you have to do regularly, powering through it can have the opposite effect. It
can actually make you more resistant to taking action; sometimes to the point of
just not doing it at all. It’s exhausting, and it takes a lot of energy to
maintain that kind of persistence for long periods of time.
For some of us, these fears
can be terrifying, to the point of paralysis. They block our success; and
prevent us from living life to the fullest. Sometimes, they block us from simply
living. But the truth is, they’re completely imaginary; they are figments of our
own imaginations. Yet, they hold us back and keep us from fulfilling our dreams
and desires and living our best life.
So, let’s take a look at
FEAR! What is it really? One way of describing it is that it’s simply ‘False
Evidence Appearing Real’…so real that it binds us mentally and in some ways
physically. In some people, the physical symptom can be dramatic, ranging from
dizziness and sweating to vomiting and muscle paralysis.
A
good example is public speaking. It’s a known fact that most people would rather
die than speak before an audience. Now that’s about as dramatic as it gets. But,
it also illustrates how irrational it is. Death means the end of your lifetime
on the planet. While giving a speech only lasts a few minutes, and you can go on
with your life afterwards.
How ‘crazy’ is that? Now, I
have a confession to make…I have a crazy fear of my own. I’m a singer. I’ve
performed before audiences many times, as a soloist, a member of a choir and 6
member group…and I absolutely love it. I also love public speaking. Give me a
microphone and I can talk for hours.
My
‘crazy fear’ is cold-calling clients. Like a lot of other people, calling
strangers to solicit them for business is terrifying. Why? I haven’t the
slightest idea. While some people seem to like it, most people hate it. Still
they have to do it because it’s part of their job. Somehow, these brave souls
find the where-with-all to work through their fear and do it
anyway.
But I never found that
inner resolve to power through this fear. For me, it’s almost impossible for me
to make myself pick up the phone and call a client. I’d find all kinds of
distractions so I could postpone making those phone calls. I’m not sure where it
came from, or when it started. All I know is it was a real problem for me
because I’m a real estate investor. I have to call my clients to make my money.
It’s became a major hindrance to my success.
Funny huh? I can almost
hear some of you saying, how can you be so at ease singing and speaking in
public, and so terrified about making a few phone calls? Well, that’s why I call
it the ‘crazy fear’…it doesn’t make sense. It’s a totally irrational behavior.
Yet, it’s very real and must be dealt with if we are to move forward, realize
our potential and enjoy the success and joy we all aspire to and
desire.
I
remember a time when I used to love talking on the phone; calling people was not
an issue. But somewhere along the line, things shifted. I’ve come to a place
where I’d rather do almost anything else but pick up the phone and call a
client. I’ve struggled greatly for the last few years to find a way to make a
breakthrough. And, finally I did!
In
my efforts to understand, clear and work through my crazy fear, I started
examining my past to try and identify the event that set the fear response in
motion. When did this start? What changed me? How did I build up such a strong
resistance to phone calling? And, then there was the bigger question: How was I
going to clear it so I could get my business back on track and be successful. It
really had become the ‘single’ most critical obstacle to my
success.
But, try as I might, I
couldn’t remember anything specific to link to my fear. So, instead of working
on the event, I decided to focus on the responses. I realized that whatever the
‘event or events’ were, it was the responses…the energetic feelings I was
experiencing now that were the show stoppers. So, I decided to concentrate my
efforts on dealing with that energy, instead.
Now, this isn’t the usual
approach to dealing with a phobia. Traditional practice is to identify the
trauma, dig deep into the event, and then attempt to heal it. But, since that
wasn’t possible for me to remember the event, I needed an alternative approach.
That alternative turned out to be an energy healing modality. One day I got an
email about something called EFT, and it literally changed my life.
It
simply said…’everything is energy’! And, that was my A-ha moment! Suddenly, I
realized that it didn’t matter what the cause was. I could simply work with the
energy responses and through them, heal the cause. This was the turning
point!
So, what was this thing
called ‘EFT’? I knew about Reiki healing, I’d studied it and received my Masters
certifications. But, this was something new. EFT, was an energy healing
technique called the ‘Emotional Freedom Technique, (more recently called
‘Tapping’).
You may not have heard
about it either, and it really isn’t new. EFT or Tapping was developed several
decades ago as a way to give people relief from intense emotional problems such
as depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, guilt, anger, grief, and many
other emotional and physical issues and conditions.
It’s based on the practice
of manipulating the energy centers located in certain places in the body to
redirect and stimulate the body’s energy, which allows us to let go of the
negative imprints, resulting in healing. Unlike its cousin Acupuncture, no
needles or other instruments are used. Instead, EFT or Tapping employs the
simple act of tapping on certain energy meridians to release, and/or redirect
the energy flow in our body’s energy system. That’s why we call it ‘Tapping’.
And, the results can be quite dramatic!
It’s a highly effective
process. It can give a person relief from emotional trauma and discomfort in
mere minutes. The process includes making simple supportive and affirmative
statements to focus attention on the issue while tapping on the energy
meridians. By doing this, we re-frame and/or eliminate the negative affect of
the memory and the event.
After setting our intention
by stating the condition or behavior, we use a tapping sequence on the energy
meridians while making other descriptive or affirmative statements, and
breathing. The breath is a very important component of clearing energy, so we do
it before and after a series of rounds.
Most sessions consist of
several rounds to clear and remove the energy blockages. The technique is
painless, yet very powerful. There’s no disrobing, and it can be done anywhere,
in person, by phone, or via the internet.
Today, many people use
Tapping as part of their daily routines to energize and start their day with
good energy and a balanced state of mind. I encourage you to try Tapping and see
how it works for you. Just email me at: thewomanexec@gmail.com and
we’ll schedule a 30 minute ‘FREE TRY TAPPING’ session for you. You’ll notice a
difference after just one session!
