I want to run away and hide...

From Guest Blogger Lisa Bloom...

 

Have you ever wished the ground would open up and swallow you?

Did you ever want to run away and hide?

Have you ever thought; this moment is one I just want to forget ever happened?

It's pretty common, yet quite unbearable.

I had offered to tell a story.  I stood up in front of close to 100 people and the energy was all wrong.  I suppose it was a combination of family dynamics (it was an extended family event), unclear expectations (they were waiting for the meal to be served!) and alcohol (them not me!)

Whatever the reasons, I bombed.  Totally!  I wanted to crawl under the carpet, I wanted to simply disappear.

The truth is, even as I write this, I feel uncomfortable.

But I'm glad it happened.

No, this is not some kind of vindictive, family pay-back!

It's not a professional death-wish.

It is, in fact, a reminder of our vulnerability.

We are never completely immune to totally screwing up and it's good to remember that!

If I get too blasé before a webinar or too confident before a business meeting, I reckon it's tempting the gods.

Of course, I don't belief I'll be struck down in some way.

I'll end up striking myself down.

I'll make mistakes and I won't give enough of myself to actually do the work and get the job done as well as I can.

If I don't have to make an effort to really show up then I'm not really present.

When I go on stage or speak in front of a group (yes, even a small one!) I get nervous.

Sometimes, I get VERY nervous.  And I'm delighted that it happens

You see, the minute I stop getting nervous before I speak, I'll get worried.  If I'm not nervous, then I'll know that I'm not giving my best.

If I'm not even nervous then clearly I'm not challenging myself to get out of my comfort zone and really serve others.

So when I start feeling mildly uncomfortable.  When I start feeling the usual butterflies in my stomach and a kind of intense focus and sensitivity to everything around me, then I know I'm nearly ready.

I know that this is the state, for me, that gets me out of my safety zone and really striving to serve.  This is that way I can totally show up, to contribute and add value.

I'm not comfortable talking about my failures, but I have to.

As a reformed (maybe reforming!!) perfectionist, it's not fun admitting my many mistakes, but I have to.

That's the real world.  It's the playground where we get to really live.  It's the only way to learn and grow and keep developing.

Isn't that what life's all about?

 

Lisa Bloom is a Professional Storyteller and Accredited who helps entrepreneurs and business owners beat overwhelm, stress and discomfort with marketing to find confidence, attract ideal clients and make more money by finding their success story. Lisa's Leadership Development & Coaching Programs and Speaking gigs have engaged, motivated and inspired people world-wide!  She is delighted to offer you the complimentary ebook "Using Stories to Get Great Clients": http://www.story-coach.com 

Women and Our Families vs the Old Male Business Model

We've been hearing a lot about Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer's decision to discontinue the company's 'work-at-home' policy, and Facebook Exec Sheryl Sandberg's new book 'Lean In' lately. 

While I can see the reasons for the change to the work-at-home policy, I can also see the problems this is going to cause for working parents who are going to be greatly impacted by this change.

Yahoo's in serious trouble, and despite the problems the change will cause, the company's survival has to take precedence over the inconvenience to the employees. 

I believe it was a business decision and not a personal one. I believe it took a great deal of courage and wisdom to make this decision. Being a mother herself, I believe she knew what the cost would be to some of the employees. I also believe she chose the lesser of two very hard choices: 
1. Cancel the work-at-home policy, or
2. Lay-off employees, or worst case…let the company fail.

Sometimes the hard choices are the least popular. However, as business owners, I think we’d all make the same decision.

Sheryl Sandberg's new book (which I haven't read), raises some questions about a woman's role in the business world and how we relate to it. 

In some ways it says we're not being assertive enough. But, I don't know if she's making allowances for the fact that women are still relatively new to the 'corporate management' world; and that we behave differently in business. 

And, that there’s still a lot of resistance to women taking senior management positions. We don’t always have the same freedoms to make the same choices as men do because despite our changing society, women are still the primary care-givers for our families; the  young ones and the old ones, too. 

Until the responsibilities become more ‘balanced’, we will still be required to choose family over career, most of the time.

As stated, her model seems to imply that we should 'act/speak like men', in order to get ahead. That concept inspires at least 2 schools of thought:
1. That we should continue to try to mirror the male business model. I'm not necessarily in favor of this idea because it's doesn't allow us to be our authentic selves as women. We’ve been trying to change it, so becoming more like it, seems like taking steps backward.
2. That unless we do act/talk like men, that we aren't strong or good enough to compete with our male counter-parts. This belief means that we may never shatter the glass ceiling unless we change who we are. That doesn’t resonate with me either.

The male model didn’t really work well for anyone except the alpha males to start with. Most of the men who become corporate leaders are very often considered cold, predatory ‘sharks and barracudas’ of business who’d rather destroy their competition, than use the Universal Laws to create their own abundance and success. 

I question whether that’s the model we want to continue using in the world we’re creating now. Is that the only way we can have success and be great leaders?

While there are some merits to what she says, I think there’s a better approach. First, I think there’s a mis-communication, a disconnect in the way women express themselves. We tend to use words that dis-empower us. We hold ourselves back because we fear being called ‘bitchy’. 

On the other hand, men express themselves from a place of power, without concern as to how they’ll be perceived. Their expectation is that they’ll be perceived as strong, decisive and certain, and they are. I believe we can do that too, but in a way that’s comfortable for us. 

So perhaps the real issue is for women to learn to use different ‘words’ and behaviors so we express ourselves in ways that empower us, but still allow us to be who we are…strong, powerful, capable women…with hearts!

The question is, where and how do we start in learning to speak our decisive truth…with confidence and power?  

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Someone Asked, Is 'PTSD' Contagious? Here's My Answer...

When a ‘warrior’ comes home from the battlefield, they carry tremendous emotional damage from the violence and atrocities they’ve experienced. Some people are stronger than others, so they may not exhibit the extreme behaviors that some others do.

We know that women who’ve been abused, raped, experienced violence and major loss, etc, suffer from a form of PTSD. The trauma they’re exposed to from PTSD partners is transferred like this:

Imagine living with a man (or woman) who’s spent months or years with gunfire around them, being shot at, feeling threatened 24-hrs a day and living in constant fear of dying in a violent confrontation.

In war zones, physical threats of death…violent death is a way of life. Battles bring another intense form of trauma. The bombs, the deaths of friends, seeing/experiencing horrible injuries, dead bodies, attacks from the enemy…all of this is constant.

When the warrior comes home, they can’t just leave all of that stuff behind like flipping a light switch. Very often they have violent nightmares, are very depressed and paranoid; some are too afraid to leave home and can’t handle crowds our being in public places.

A car backfiring can set off a fear experience or a defensive assault against whomever’s around. In our society, even real gunfire is possible in our neighborhoods, and that can trigger an episode. They often become alcoholics and drug abusers as they try to cope. This adds another layer of dysfunction.

Imagine being awakened in the middle of the night with your partner sitting on your chest with his hands around your throat, choking you because he’s in the middle of a nightmare memory of a battle experience and he thinks you’re the enemy.

Imagine awaking to the sounds of screams and seeing him or her fighting off an ‘imaginary’ assailant, in an encounter you can’t see or understand.

Imagine living with sudden outbursts of fear and anger as they struggle with the emotional roller coaster of a severely traumatized soul and mind.

That loving partner that left a year ago, may come home completely transformed into a violent, uncontrollable, unpredictable monster.

I remember my friends, William and Sandy having these experiences after he returned from Viet Nam, back in the 60s. The battlefields of today may be even worse because our weapons and tactics are more advanced. Not to mention our soldiers are experiencing multiple deployments now.

The families of these ‘warriors’ are in no way prepared or capable of dealing with the after effects of a war-damaged psyche. Our professionals are having a hard time treating them and they’re trained to heal these conditions.

EFT seems to be one of the most effective healing modalities for treating these conditions so far. It’s being used to help the soldiers and first responders who’ve had recent trauma and is also being used for some long term trauma victims of previous wars like Viet Nam and Desert Storm.

I woke up this morning remembering what my friend William went through after returning from Viet Nam. Until you’ve witnessed one of their outbursts, it’s hard to imagine what it’s like.

This is how the trauma of PTSD can be ‘transmitted’ to the family of the warrior; and it’s not just the partners, the children will be affected too. Unfortunately, they’re probably not as vocal about what they’re experiencing and probably are not getting the attention they need either.

We’ll probably see more of how the children have been affected as they grow up and act out their own traumatized behaviors. Who knows, we may already be seeing the effects now, as some of the kids shooting other people are teens who could have had parents deployed in Desert Storm.

As an energy healer and life coach, I encourage anyone who’s experiencing any form of PTSD to seek help from an EFT Practitioner and medical professional. Whether you’re a wounded warrior, an abused woman or the child of a PTSD sufferer, ask for help as soon as possible.

Assistance and healing is available. EFT (aka Tapping) works! It’s one of the most effective healing practices currently being used to help those with PTSD.

I used it, along with Reiki to heal my own moderate PTSD and depression experiences over the last decade, which is why I’m an energy healer working with clients today.

I don’t work specifically with PTSD sufferers, but I do work with clients who have light to moderate depression, and those who’re looking to have happier lives in general. Being sad, unhappy and feeling isolated is an indication that depression may be an issue.

I’m not a therapist; I’m a counselor and coach, which is why I limit my practice to those who are healthy enough to help themselves.

If you’re suffering from severe PTSD or depression (thinking of suicide would qualify as severe depression), please seek professional help from a medical or psychiatric professional right away.

Love and Light to you Always...
Rev. Lyn
http://www.thewomanexec.com

Happy Re-Birthday!

On this very special day of our spiritual re-birth, I wish you a very 'Happy Re-birthday' filled with all the love, light, comfort and success you deserve and desire!

I've been doing additional, and longer meditations for the last 2 days. I've received many wonderful new insights...some of which I'm still receiving, so I don’t totally understand them yet.

I am feeling more inner peace and calm, even as I face the remaining challenges brought by 2012.

Frankly, I'm so glad to see 2013 coming in. The numerological energy of 2012, the #5, with all of it's challenging, need to grow, learn and stretch yourself energy, is finally winding down.

The balancing, harmonizing, gentle, loving energy of the #6 is coming in with 2013. THANK GOD for that!

I don’t know about you, but I've got stretch marks all over my body and soul; and I'm ready for a little 'ease and grace'.

So, cheers to 2013 and all that it promises. I’m excited, and ‘insighted’ to see/feel what it brings!

Love and Light to you always…

 

Rev Lyn

www.TheWomanExec.com