I want to run away and hide...

From Guest Blogger Lisa Bloom...

 

Have you ever wished the ground would open up and swallow you?

Did you ever want to run away and hide?

Have you ever thought; this moment is one I just want to forget ever happened?

It's pretty common, yet quite unbearable.

I had offered to tell a story.  I stood up in front of close to 100 people and the energy was all wrong.  I suppose it was a combination of family dynamics (it was an extended family event), unclear expectations (they were waiting for the meal to be served!) and alcohol (them not me!)

Whatever the reasons, I bombed.  Totally!  I wanted to crawl under the carpet, I wanted to simply disappear.

The truth is, even as I write this, I feel uncomfortable.

But I'm glad it happened.

No, this is not some kind of vindictive, family pay-back!

It's not a professional death-wish.

It is, in fact, a reminder of our vulnerability.

We are never completely immune to totally screwing up and it's good to remember that!

If I get too blasé before a webinar or too confident before a business meeting, I reckon it's tempting the gods.

Of course, I don't belief I'll be struck down in some way.

I'll end up striking myself down.

I'll make mistakes and I won't give enough of myself to actually do the work and get the job done as well as I can.

If I don't have to make an effort to really show up then I'm not really present.

When I go on stage or speak in front of a group (yes, even a small one!) I get nervous.

Sometimes, I get VERY nervous.  And I'm delighted that it happens

You see, the minute I stop getting nervous before I speak, I'll get worried.  If I'm not nervous, then I'll know that I'm not giving my best.

If I'm not even nervous then clearly I'm not challenging myself to get out of my comfort zone and really serve others.

So when I start feeling mildly uncomfortable.  When I start feeling the usual butterflies in my stomach and a kind of intense focus and sensitivity to everything around me, then I know I'm nearly ready.

I know that this is the state, for me, that gets me out of my safety zone and really striving to serve.  This is that way I can totally show up, to contribute and add value.

I'm not comfortable talking about my failures, but I have to.

As a reformed (maybe reforming!!) perfectionist, it's not fun admitting my many mistakes, but I have to.

That's the real world.  It's the playground where we get to really live.  It's the only way to learn and grow and keep developing.

Isn't that what life's all about?

 

Lisa Bloom is a Professional Storyteller and Accredited who helps entrepreneurs and business owners beat overwhelm, stress and discomfort with marketing to find confidence, attract ideal clients and make more money by finding their success story. Lisa's Leadership Development & Coaching Programs and Speaking gigs have engaged, motivated and inspired people world-wide!  She is delighted to offer you the complimentary ebook "Using Stories to Get Great Clients": http://www.story-coach.com 

Why You Should Listen to Some 'Happy Music' Everyday!

I've always had music in my life, from childhood to now. My mother loved music so our home was always filled with music of some kind. I remember when she bought a new record player called a 'High Fidelity' or 'Hi-Fi' player. It was in a cabinet, with big speakers and had great sound.

This was the ‘new sound technology’ of the time. It was a big step forward from the tabletop, monophonic record players most people had. Hi-Fi was the predecessor of stereo sound. She played her records all day long!

She was also a pianist; she played for our church and she played our home piano, a lot! So, it's no surprise that each of us children had to take piano lessons too. Music has always filled my life in some way. As a teen, I took voice lessons and singing turned out to be my passion!

 
There are many genres of music today: some are positive, uplifting and make you feel good, while others...are not! No matter what your general music preference is, you should include some happy music in your life.

Music is therapeutic; it speaks to our souls in ways that words can’t. It can positively shift your mood, lift your spirits and make you feel good. It’s particularly helpful when you’re feeling sad or depressed.

Music is universal. It speaks to all people no matter what their native language is. Music is a language all its own. Even plants and animals respond to music. There was a book written back in the 70s, called ‘The Secret Life of Plants’.

The book detailed a study of the effects of different kinds of music on the growth and development of plants. The researchers exposed some plants to rock music; these plants didn’t do well…some of them even died.

They exposed other plants to classical music. These plants thrived and grew larger and faster than those with no music at all. This study proved scientifically that music has a physical effect on life forms exposed to it.

I was watching a talk show this morning and the topic of music and how it influences us came up for discussion. Some researchers did a study to see what our tolerance levels for cold is (don’t ask me why they did this study, but they did).

In the study, they immersed people’s hands in ice water. They found that the people could hold their hands in the ice water longer, when they were listening to music.

Michael Strahan, ex-pro football player and co-host of the ‘Kelly and Michael’ morning show confirmed this fact. He said that football players take ice water baths after intense practice sessions. He said it was much easier for him to stay in the ice bath longer, when he listened to music through headphones.

He also said he listens to happy music before coming on the show each morning to get his energy going and set his mood. His song of preference is 'Morning' by Al Jarreau. This is a great happy song!

Playing happy music is one of my Happiness Tips from my ‘Master to Keys to Happiness System’. So if you want to feel happier and have more great days, play some happy music every day.

Whatever music you choose, select something that makes you want to sing and dance like no one is watching...'Don't Worry...Be Happy!'

 

Music, Love and Happiness to You Always,

Lyn Williams
Love and Happiness Mastery Mentor

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Women and Our Families vs the Old Male Business Model

We've been hearing a lot about Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer's decision to discontinue the company's 'work-at-home' policy, and Facebook Exec Sheryl Sandberg's new book 'Lean In' lately. 

While I can see the reasons for the change to the work-at-home policy, I can also see the problems this is going to cause for working parents who are going to be greatly impacted by this change.

Yahoo's in serious trouble, and despite the problems the change will cause, the company's survival has to take precedence over the inconvenience to the employees. 

I believe it was a business decision and not a personal one. I believe it took a great deal of courage and wisdom to make this decision. Being a mother herself, I believe she knew what the cost would be to some of the employees. I also believe she chose the lesser of two very hard choices: 
1. Cancel the work-at-home policy, or
2. Lay-off employees, or worst case…let the company fail.

Sometimes the hard choices are the least popular. However, as business owners, I think we’d all make the same decision.

Sheryl Sandberg's new book (which I haven't read), raises some questions about a woman's role in the business world and how we relate to it. 

In some ways it says we're not being assertive enough. But, I don't know if she's making allowances for the fact that women are still relatively new to the 'corporate management' world; and that we behave differently in business. 

And, that there’s still a lot of resistance to women taking senior management positions. We don’t always have the same freedoms to make the same choices as men do because despite our changing society, women are still the primary care-givers for our families; the  young ones and the old ones, too. 

Until the responsibilities become more ‘balanced’, we will still be required to choose family over career, most of the time.

As stated, her model seems to imply that we should 'act/speak like men', in order to get ahead. That concept inspires at least 2 schools of thought:
1. That we should continue to try to mirror the male business model. I'm not necessarily in favor of this idea because it's doesn't allow us to be our authentic selves as women. We’ve been trying to change it, so becoming more like it, seems like taking steps backward.
2. That unless we do act/talk like men, that we aren't strong or good enough to compete with our male counter-parts. This belief means that we may never shatter the glass ceiling unless we change who we are. That doesn’t resonate with me either.

The male model didn’t really work well for anyone except the alpha males to start with. Most of the men who become corporate leaders are very often considered cold, predatory ‘sharks and barracudas’ of business who’d rather destroy their competition, than use the Universal Laws to create their own abundance and success. 

I question whether that’s the model we want to continue using in the world we’re creating now. Is that the only way we can have success and be great leaders?

While there are some merits to what she says, I think there’s a better approach. First, I think there’s a mis-communication, a disconnect in the way women express themselves. We tend to use words that dis-empower us. We hold ourselves back because we fear being called ‘bitchy’. 

On the other hand, men express themselves from a place of power, without concern as to how they’ll be perceived. Their expectation is that they’ll be perceived as strong, decisive and certain, and they are. I believe we can do that too, but in a way that’s comfortable for us. 

So perhaps the real issue is for women to learn to use different ‘words’ and behaviors so we express ourselves in ways that empower us, but still allow us to be who we are…strong, powerful, capable women…with hearts!

The question is, where and how do we start in learning to speak our decisive truth…with confidence and power?  

Special Announcement: The 'Master Keys to Happiness' Workshop Spring Session begins on March 27th. Do you need more 'Happiness' in your life? Then, don't miss this dynamic, 'Be Happy Now' workshop. All session are online and recorded.

The Spring session begins on Wednesday, March 27th. 

Enroll Now:  http://bit.ly/WkMZ32

Are You Successful...and Secretly Unhappy?

Women today are experiencing some of the best opportunities and the greatest successes we've ever had. Never before has there been so much support for us to step out and be the best at whatever we want to be.

We have incredible support systems and networks with friends, associates and families. Even companies are opening doors and allowing women to move ahead like never before. So…why are we still basically unhappy?

There’s that feeling of...something's missing…this is not enough, a kind of disconnect within us. We may ask ourselves; where’s the satisfaction and deep fulfillment we thought would come from our accomplishments and successes?

If this sounds like you, you're probably also feeling isolated because you're holding your real feelings in. It’s like your own little secret that you can’t share.

After all, you have everything you've dreamed of. Maybe you have great relationships, money, your dream job or business.

You may feel like you're the only one. Maybe you’re feeling a little 'guilty' because from all appearances you should be over the moon with your life…but you aren’t.

You can’t tell anyone because you think they’ll consider you ungrateful, insecure...maybe even a little dysfunctional because no matter what you have, it's never enough?

Well, take heart. You're not alone. Many women feel this way. They share your little 'secret'!  

The real issue isn't with what you have, or have done. Things and accomplishments, don’t make you happy, unless you already are. Happiness comes from within. The problem is more complicated than that.

Many of us have had heartbreaks, personal losses, hurts and disappointments that have never healed. Perhaps we lost a great love, a child, a dream was crushed, or we suffered some kind of physical, verbal or emotional abuse in our past.

As professional women, we tend to 'move past' these kinds of experiences and sweep them under the rug. We bury ourselves in our work, and tell ourselves we don’t have time to heal our emotions. We just ‘deal with it’! But, we don’t really deal with it at all.

In time, we may feel better but that’s because we’ve consciously buried our feelings. We think we’ve healed, but what we’ve really done is ‘swept our stuff under our emotional rug’…and the stuff is still there.

For the most part, we function fine and life goes on. But, the truth is, these unhealed emotions are like ticking time bombs…subject to blow up at any time. And, when they do, they can blow your life apart….I know…it happened to me.

So, what are some indicators that you may have this ticking time bomb inside of you? The biggest one is you’re unhappy! Maybe you feel depressed, have headaches, anxiety, sleeplessness, feel mis-understood, invisible or unappreciated.

Do you drink a little too much, or too often? Do you overeat? Do you bury yourself in work and never take time for fun? Maybe you suppress your feelings and you’ve shut your heart down...maybe you’re taking medications that really don’t seem to work.

The real issue is the heart-broken little girl inside of you, she’s still hurting. To help her heal, you must lift the rug, connect with her and heal her broken little heart. She’s been neglected and basically told to go to her room. Your intention was to deal with her needs later…but you never did.

Well ladies…it’s time to open the door, call her out and give her the love, healing and attention she needs and deserves. She’s not going away and she can’t heal herself, but you can and you must.

No amount of success, accumulations of possessions, or even the most loving partner can help you heal the hole in that little girl’s heart. That’s something only you can do.

The great news is, the solution is simple; you can do it, and it doesn’t take that long when you have the right tools. Don’t get me wrong…I didn’t say easy…I said simple.

So, the question is…do you want to be happy? Do you want to actually enjoy the success and accomplishments you’ve worked so hard to achieve…yes?

Then, the next question is…what are you going to do about it? The tools are available, I have them…all you have to do is use them.

Is this you? Do you know anyone who’s like this…successful and unhappy…maybe feeling like there’s nothing they can do about it? Please share this article with them. I’d really love to help.

Lyn Williams

www.TheWomanExec.com

http://bit.ly/113QW0v    

Someone Asked, Is 'PTSD' Contagious? Here's My Answer...

When a ‘warrior’ comes home from the battlefield, they carry tremendous emotional damage from the violence and atrocities they’ve experienced. Some people are stronger than others, so they may not exhibit the extreme behaviors that some others do.

We know that women who’ve been abused, raped, experienced violence and major loss, etc, suffer from a form of PTSD. The trauma they’re exposed to from PTSD partners is transferred like this:

Imagine living with a man (or woman) who’s spent months or years with gunfire around them, being shot at, feeling threatened 24-hrs a day and living in constant fear of dying in a violent confrontation.

In war zones, physical threats of death…violent death is a way of life. Battles bring another intense form of trauma. The bombs, the deaths of friends, seeing/experiencing horrible injuries, dead bodies, attacks from the enemy…all of this is constant.

When the warrior comes home, they can’t just leave all of that stuff behind like flipping a light switch. Very often they have violent nightmares, are very depressed and paranoid; some are too afraid to leave home and can’t handle crowds our being in public places.

A car backfiring can set off a fear experience or a defensive assault against whomever’s around. In our society, even real gunfire is possible in our neighborhoods, and that can trigger an episode. They often become alcoholics and drug abusers as they try to cope. This adds another layer of dysfunction.

Imagine being awakened in the middle of the night with your partner sitting on your chest with his hands around your throat, choking you because he’s in the middle of a nightmare memory of a battle experience and he thinks you’re the enemy.

Imagine awaking to the sounds of screams and seeing him or her fighting off an ‘imaginary’ assailant, in an encounter you can’t see or understand.

Imagine living with sudden outbursts of fear and anger as they struggle with the emotional roller coaster of a severely traumatized soul and mind.

That loving partner that left a year ago, may come home completely transformed into a violent, uncontrollable, unpredictable monster.

I remember my friends, William and Sandy having these experiences after he returned from Viet Nam, back in the 60s. The battlefields of today may be even worse because our weapons and tactics are more advanced. Not to mention our soldiers are experiencing multiple deployments now.

The families of these ‘warriors’ are in no way prepared or capable of dealing with the after effects of a war-damaged psyche. Our professionals are having a hard time treating them and they’re trained to heal these conditions.

EFT seems to be one of the most effective healing modalities for treating these conditions so far. It’s being used to help the soldiers and first responders who’ve had recent trauma and is also being used for some long term trauma victims of previous wars like Viet Nam and Desert Storm.

I woke up this morning remembering what my friend William went through after returning from Viet Nam. Until you’ve witnessed one of their outbursts, it’s hard to imagine what it’s like.

This is how the trauma of PTSD can be ‘transmitted’ to the family of the warrior; and it’s not just the partners, the children will be affected too. Unfortunately, they’re probably not as vocal about what they’re experiencing and probably are not getting the attention they need either.

We’ll probably see more of how the children have been affected as they grow up and act out their own traumatized behaviors. Who knows, we may already be seeing the effects now, as some of the kids shooting other people are teens who could have had parents deployed in Desert Storm.

As an energy healer and life coach, I encourage anyone who’s experiencing any form of PTSD to seek help from an EFT Practitioner and medical professional. Whether you’re a wounded warrior, an abused woman or the child of a PTSD sufferer, ask for help as soon as possible.

Assistance and healing is available. EFT (aka Tapping) works! It’s one of the most effective healing practices currently being used to help those with PTSD.

I used it, along with Reiki to heal my own moderate PTSD and depression experiences over the last decade, which is why I’m an energy healer working with clients today.

I don’t work specifically with PTSD sufferers, but I do work with clients who have light to moderate depression, and those who’re looking to have happier lives in general. Being sad, unhappy and feeling isolated is an indication that depression may be an issue.

I’m not a therapist; I’m a counselor and coach, which is why I limit my practice to those who are healthy enough to help themselves.

If you’re suffering from severe PTSD or depression (thinking of suicide would qualify as severe depression), please seek professional help from a medical or psychiatric professional right away.

Love and Light to you Always...
Rev. Lyn
http://www.thewomanexec.com

Wonderful America!

On this very ‘Special’ day as we celebrate the birthday of one of our greatest leaders, Martin Luther King, and the inauguration of our 44^th President of the United States, Barack Obama, the first African American president, we’re also celebrating Freedom, Choice, Love and Service.

So, in honor of this ‘Wonderful’ expression of what America is really all about, I give thanks for and bless our ‘Wondrous’ nation for the opportunities it provides for us to freely express and experience ourselves, pursue our dreams and have prosperity and abundance on whatever levels we desire.

There’s no other place on Earth, I’d rather be than right here in America…it’s home! And, despite our challenges, at the core of our beliefs and values are the rights that we enjoy and celebrate today.

I honor all of those who’ve sacrificed so much for all of us, so that we can have the privilege of free will choice, our ancestors, our military and their families.

In my lifetime, great change has happened in our lives: Civil Rights for women and children that’s now resonating around the world, women’s rights to have their own credit, the right to love whomever you choose, birth control, man walking on the moon, the introduction of color TV, the Internet, Cell phones, DNA technology, commercial air travel, the fall of the Berlin Wall and the USSR…and too many other transformational events to name.

When I was a child, African Americans couldn’t even ride at the front of a bus or vote without great risk to life and limb; and being the leader of one of the greatest countries on Earth was really…just a dream.

But, now the world has changed, and it’s changing even more every day. I’m amazed at what has transpired, and excited to see what’s to come.

Today, I can proudly say, it is ‘Wonderful’ to be an ‘American Woman’, helping to make those changes happen by continuing to express my truth and exercise my free will choices in ways that can only happen here in this ‘Wonderful’ place called America!

God bless America! And, God bless all of you!

Transforming Your Life - What's your 2013 'wonder-ful' A-HA moment?

Today, I was 'wondering', have you had any 'A-HA' moments recently, regarding the progress of your dreams, life-path or purpose?

Have you overcome a very challenging behavior or belief; moved away from a dysfunctional life situation; or changed careers to follow your dream...

My most significant ‘A-HA’ moment was that I'd turned a corner energetically.

I've experienced many setbacks and experiences of lack and limitation in recent years. But, the Law of Attraction/Law of Manifestation work I've been doing to shift my energy, mindset and intentions has actually shifted.

I don’t have that worry-fear-stress like I used to. And, my needs are being met, even when I can’t see how it will happen. And, when I do get stressed, I use my tools and the worry-feelings reside much faster. I’m actually attracting what I need to me.

I’ve moved past my insecurities and created my first 'coaching' video series in December. Now, I’m helping other women in transition to do the same.

Even though I wasn't exactly where I 'wanted' to be on my path, and everything wasn't perfect, I realized where I was, was 'good enough'. I decided to start from right where I was and allow myself to be guided to my next steps.

Now I'm getting feedback from the new clients who are using my coaching program. It's been so great to hear about their progress and experiences...like watching a child grow up. I love rejoicing with them and hearing their stories.

If I hadn't taken my 'leap of faith' and trusted that I was ready, they wouldn't be having the wonderful, transformational experiences they're having now. That makes my heart sing!♥

What's your 'wonder-ful' A-HA moment?

Lyn

www.facebook.com/groups/thewomanexec

Want to transform you life? Find out how you can become a Law of Attraction Master and transform your life, email me at: talkwithlyn@gmail.com